So God’s done it again. Thousands of years after he got fed up with human sin and decided to flood the World, he’s decided that enough is enough and that’s why Britain got those floods over Christmas. Odd time to choose, I thought, Christmas Day floods, surely, a bit like shooting yourself in the foot, God.

It was quite a thing the first time, when the only people saved were Noah and his family along with pairs of breeding animals that went in two by two on to Noah’s cunning DIY ark.

When God had drowned all the sinners (everyone that is, except Noah and his family) the water subsided and the ark landed on the top of Mount Arafat with all the human and animal passengers safe.

With all the sinners drowned,  God decided that enough was enough and he promised not to do it again and as a sign of his promise he stuck a rainbow in the sky.

Now God has been at it again but this time, apparently, He just targeted Britain and,  no arks this time, just unpleasant floods in various parts of the UK, including Henley-On-Thames. Anyway there wasn’t enough warning for one David Silvester, our modern day Noah, to build an ark or to round up breeding pairs of our animals but luckily the devastation didn’t wipe out the entire country and all life this time. We don’t have that many wild animals in the UK any more so it wouldn’t have taken David that long to find couples of foxes, badgers, water voles, rats, moles, mice, sand lizards, frogs, toads and newts etc. plus the farm animals of course. I suppose if he had built that ark, he’d be shipwrecked now somewhere near Gravesend.

David Silvester, a United Kingdom Party (UKIP) councillor from Henley-on-Thames, may not have sailed off to Mount Arafat or Gravesend but he knows all about God’s flooding intentions. According to David, God is angry with Prime Minister David Cameron for allowing the recent Same Sex Marriage Bill to go through Parliament. Apparently this is the most sinful act since Noah – or before the flood as they say. Looking at the flood damage in Henley, I suspect God might be slightly less angry this time round.

I was relieved and surprized to discover that Mr Silvester’s cranky antediluvian beliefs are too ridiculous even for the United Kingdom Party (UKIP) and he has been suspended from the party just as, last year, the UKIP MEP (Member of European Parliament), Godfrey Bloom was sacked for describing the countries where Britain sent aid as Bongo-Bongo Land. The UKIP leader, Nigel Farage,  has now said that he will vet the party to make sure there are no “extremist, barmy or nasty” views. At this rate there’ll be no one left, Nigel. Maybe he could build them an ark and send them off somewhere over the rainbow.

The rainbow, however, remains a sign of hope after the deluge – so maybe God isn’t so annoyed about same-sex marriages after-all.

Even if David Silvester is right about the causes of the 2013 Henley-on-Thames floods, I wonder if he has an explanation for why God flooded Henley-on-Thames in 2012 too.

Now that Mr Silvester isn’t quite so busy, maybe he should just sit back and enjoy a sing-a-long about the ark. What puzzles me is that when all those animals went in two by two, how come Noah even got those giant pandas to breed?

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My novel, Stephen Dearsley’s Summer Of Love, was published  on 31 October 2013. It is the story of a young fogey living in Brighton in 1967 who has a lot to learn when the flowering hippie counter culture changes him and the world around him.

The post After the floods: David Silvester, a latter day Noah or just another UKIP crank? appeared first on Wolfie Wolfgang.

The British government introduced its politically brave but still cautious same-sex marriage bill in the House of Commons today. It is right and most people here agree that everyone should be equal in matters of the heart and should have the freedom to marry if that is what they wish.

If they want to get married in a church however then the government has gone out of its way not to rock the country’s established religious institutions, the Church of England and the Church of Wales after they have put it on record that they disapprove of gay marriage believing it to be a holy sacrament reserved by God for men and women only. The new bill says that no religious institution will be forced to conduct same-sex marriages if it is not what they want to do. Freedom of religion is the issue here and that’s just fine, I guess. Anyone wanting a happy gay marriage in such a church must be seriously deluded.

It seems perfectly reasonable that the dear old C. of E. and its Welsh sibling, should be able to practice what it preaches no matter how unreasonable its position on marriage might seem to the rest of us out here in the real world. After-all, we’re used to them being cranky over homosexuality and a load of other things too. No, let them get on with their funny ways but, if they continue to insist on a life on the fringe of society, it may well be time for them to cease to be the nation’s established church. Increasingly, the Church of England (and Wales) is showing itself to be an eccentric and mostly well-meaning cult in this country. Maybe the time has arrived for it to recognise the fact that the majority of the people just don’t share their views any more.

All this big church thing has got out of hand anyway. Far be it for me to preach to the Church of England but, surely, Jesus wasn’t part of a traditional establishment with loads of posh buildings and wacky clothes. He kept his independence and challenged old prejudices – many of which are still in the Old Testament. Maybe if the Church of England cut itself off from all the pomp and circumstance it might find its soul again.

I’m more impressed by the Quakers who manage perfectly well without Archbishops and prejudice and, by the way, have proclaimed their joyful acceptance of marriage as an sacrament for all loving people. Meanwhile, let’s celebrate the new bill on same-sex marriage as another step towards the civilization of Britain.

The post Gay Marriage gets its Church-scared bill in England and Wales appeared first on Wolfie Wolfgang.

I do realize that people should be free to practise their own religion no matter how wackey it is – well maybe drawing the line around human sacrifice and a couple of other things – so I have never gone along with the form of criticism that tells, say, the Roman Catholic church to get with it over certain social issues, like contraception and abortion and to change its centuries old traditional theology just because almost everyone else disagrees with them. After-all if they ditch their beliefs just to stay popular, they might as well give up the whole thing. It is sad for those Roman Catholics, and there are a lot of them, who disagree with the official line but, maybe, they need to find their own church.

It isn’t just contraception and abortion that is causing all the trouble between the church and ordinary decent people these days, it is the question of homosexuality too and with homosexual marriage in particular as the new burning issue. I am not talking about Africa or parts of Asia of course, acceptance there seems centuries away, but mostly, certainly in the USA and Europe, this is the latest non-issue. Homosexuality exists, human love exists, people who are in love often want to live together and some of them, the more traditionally-minded ones,  even want to get married. Well, the overwhelming majority thinks, that’s just fine because it is, cheers!

Here in Britain, even our Conservative Party is in agreement and new legislation will soon make gay marriage legal much to the anguish of the Church of England. If it is socially acceptable to our most reactionary political party then it is pretty well a no-brainer as far as the rest of the country is concerned. So what’s all the problem about then in the Church of England?

I can understand the Pope taking a dim view of such things, he likes to keep things complex and theologically strict in his particular reading of the holy scripts,  but the good old Church of England was born out of compromise and mostly survives without getting too laden by theology. You can mostly believe what you want as an Anglican as long as you support the village fete. That’s why we were all so fond of it. It is a shame then that homosexual issues have got all those clerical robes into such a twist because it isn’t a problem for the rest of us, honestly.

The sad truth of it all is that the great  institution that was the Church of England has been haemorrhaging congregations for decades now because, as in its attitude to the gay marriage question, it is not seen as relevant any more to most people. The current gay debate only demonstrates how far the English have moved away from their church. That should be fine though too, it is fine as far as i’m concerned. If the clergy are not happy about gay marriages,they should get on with being unhappy about it,  people don’t need to go to their churches any more. Gay Christians, and there are a lot of them, should, just like the early Christians, find a religion that isn’t sinking under its own prejudices. Christians, even Anglicans could survive without Gothic architecture, Hymns Ancient & Modern, the Cranmer Prayer Book and even fancy cassocks, beautiful as they are, the old order should be left to die in peace mumbling prayers in their desserted churches (until it is time for us to reclaim them)  whilst the rest of the country celebrates this welcome and inevitable forward step in social equality. No wonder the Archbishop of Canterbury has just announced his retirement – he was a decent man in the wrong job.

Personally, I would like to see the liberalisation of our society move beyond the institution of marriage too with its emphasis on property rights and possessions but that, I suspect, is an argument for another century.

Meanwhile, I’m getting into gear for the imminent publication (in October)  of my novel, Stephen Dearsley’s Summer Of Love, the story of a young fogey living in Brighton in 1967 who has a lot to learn when the flowering hippie counter culture changes him and the world around him.

STEPHEN DEARSLEY’S SUMMER OF LOVE BY COLIN BELL

My novel, Stephen Dearsley’s Summer Of Love, was published  on 31 October 2013. It is the story of a young fogey living in Brighton in 1967 who has a lot to learn when the flowering hippie counter culture changes him and the world around him.

It is now available as a paperback or on Kindle (go to your region’s Amazon site for Kindle orders)

You can order the book from the publishers, Ward Wood Publishing:

http://wardwoodpublishing.co.uk/titles-fiction-colin-bell-stephen-dearsleys-summer-of-love.htm 

…or from Book Depository:

http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/Stephen-Dearsleys-Summer-Love-Colin-Bell/9781908742070

…or from Amazon:

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