Now I like to think of myself as being as cool as the next man  – well as long as the next man is a computer nerd in a woolly hat and hush puppy slip-on shoes. So I was saddened when earlier this week I lost my most distinctively cool attribute. Yes, tempted by something I hardly ever eat, a chocolate covered toffee, how uncool is that, my much admired gold tooth came out on the first bite. Great, I thought, bankrupting dental charges, toothache and, worst of all, I could no longer think of myself as hip hop. 

In case you didn’t realize this, gold teeth have become about as cool as it gets now that America’s Hip Hop aristocracy have given them true street-cred. Let’s not say gold teeth, they’re known as slugs, grillz, goldz, snatch outs, pull outs, caps or gold grills.

I wonder if Hip Hop artists eat toffees – if so I strongly advice against the habit.

I realize that I am struggling here to emulate those very cool guys but then my real ambition is, as some of you may already know, to become Jack Sparrow as seen in those wonderfully camp movies Pirates Of The Caribbean.

The gold teeth, sorry grillz, as demonstrated here by cool-in-his-own-way, Johnny Depp, are just perfect and, even though my gold tooth pre-dates the movies, I must have had a premonition of my future life as a dude that day over ten years ago sitting in the dentist’s chair discussing the possibilities with my very cool Nigerian dentist who sported a particularly fine example of grillz himself.

My fear, if I am honest, is that I may resemble the gentlemen below a lot more than Jack Sparrow or any of the above Hip Hoppers.

Undaunted though, I returned to the dentist today – not my Nigerian friend as he is now running a swish London Harley Street practice – but my splendid Lewes dentist who replaced my snatch out, my goldz (I suppose the singular of goldz is gold but that sounds boring) or should I say slug, and gave me back my cool with the help of just a little glue.

So here I am as cool as ever complete with my reinstated slug wondering if I should learn a few hip hop songs to complete the image.

Meanwhile, I’m getting into gear for the imminent publication (in October)  of my novel, Stephen Dearsley’s Summer Of Love, the story of a young fogey living in Brighton in 1967 who has a lot to learn when the flowering hippie counter culture changes him and the world around him.

You can already pre-order the book from the publishers, Ward Wood Publishing:

http://wardwoodpublishing.co.uk/titles-fiction-colin-bell-stephen-dearsleys-summer-of-love.htm 

…or from Book Depository:

http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/Stephen-Dearsleys-Summer-Love-Colin-Bell/9781908742070

…or from Amazon:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Stephen%20Dearsley’s%20Summer%20Of%20love

The post Gold Teeth are not gold teeth – they are grillz and they are extremely cool. appeared first on Wolfie Wolfgang.

The wedding of Elizabeth Swan (Keira Knightley) and Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) is interrupted when they are both threatened with the death sentence. Their only hope is to do a deal and to track down that crazy punk pirate Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). Plain sailing is interrupted, continually, by the amazing squid-faced Davey Jones (Bill Nighy) and his grotesque crew of barnacled Bills.

They say:

Rolling Stone: “You won’t find hotter action, wilder thrills or loopier laughs this summer.”

Los Angeles Times: “Intermittently fun and high-spirited, Dead Man’s Chest sags under the weight of its own running time.”

We say:

When the opening sequence includes a caged prisoner having his eyes poked out by a scavenging crow you know that Walt Disney movies have changed since Snow White.

This is family entertainment with a dark side and more than the odd bit of adult behaviour, erotic and even sadistic at times.

No one is odder here than Johnny Depp’s weird, subversive, camp and very funny Jack Sparrow. Depp repeats his strangely original characterization of the pirate captain, mincingly incompetent but ahead of the game, sexually ambiguous, worldly but with the all-inclusive curiosity of a child. It is a masterful performance, which walks, perilously, along a tightrope, Buster Keaton style, between heroics and slapstick.

Director Gore Verbinski may have a giant treasure chest for his second Pirates movie but all the familiar ingredients are repeated:

Increasingly attractive Keira Knightley and ever-earnest Orlando Bloom return as the love interest; spectacular sea battles are shot brilliantly with sensational special effects: the script continually delights in sending itself and the whole genre of adventure films sky high with enough of a plot, just, to hold the whole romp together.

Bill Nighy, barely recognizable under the fantastic tentacle-waving mask, is outstanding amongst the excellent cast. He captures the pathos as well as the menace of Davey Jones, the love-lorn, organ-playing villain cursed to sail the seas for eternity with a crew of barnacle-crusted zombies.

Can’t wait to see them all at Disney World.

Cert 12A

starring:
Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Bill Nighy

Director:
Gore Verbinski

Running time:
2 hrs 31 mm

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