Friends, Romans, Italian countrymen and women, lend me your ears. I come not to bury Berlusconi but to celebrate his parting. You, the citizens of my favourite country, allow me to celebrate with you now that your vile Prime Minister is finally leaving the stage. Allow me too, a word of friendly advice, don’t let him get away with things now that he is no longer prime minister. For too long he has survived as a discredit to your great nation – a corrupt degenerate and, if he wasn’t so damaging, a laughable even embarrasing figure in international diplomacy. You are well rid of him – auguri amici miei! Now put him on trial. I hope that you will be saved from his like in the future and, dare I say it, learn from your history. Silvio Berlusconi was, after-all, the longest serving Italian leader since Benito Mussolini. You deserve so much better. Oh yes, and good luck with the Euro – watch out for Merkel and Sarkozy! Et tu, Merkozy!

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Some of us were thrilled the other day to hear the multi-talented and mega-cool Russian prime minister, Vladimir Putin, tickling the ivories at a charity event in St Petersburg. The land that produced some of the greatest of all pianists, Richter, Horovitz, Kissin, has coughed up another blistering talent. Well, Putin certainly has a talent for something – self-publicity. Let’s not knock his musical ambitions though – music is politics these days.

Remember British prime minister David Cameron, just before, er, winning the last general election? One of the many eye-catching ideas he was offering then, in April 2010,  was the Conservative Party’s school music competition, Star Schools,  where the top prize is to make a record with Gary Barlow of Take That fame. the second prize is to make two records with Gary Barlow and so on until they reach the booby prize which will is being locked in a recording studio with Gary Barlow for life. David Cameron, not a great musician himself, thinks music is “incredibly important” giving people “a feeling of self belief whilst doing something fun.”

Music has done wonders for various other politicians at times when their self belief needed a bit of a boost. President obama is no hot air-guitarist…..

President George W. Bush knows at least one chord…….

and President Clinton knows the pleasure of a good blow……

Tony Blair, the former British prime minister, gave up a promising career as a rock musician, to save the nation and lead it into war……

..and Pope Benedict actually has musical talent.

Who would have guessed that the German Chancellor, Frau Angela Merkel was a frustrated rock star after hearing her destroy a Eurotrash song with rock sensation Heidi Fudlegraf, who?, Heidi Fudlegraf, the lead singer of German mega-band, The Firecats.

There is no surprize though to learn that Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi can charm the birds out of the trees with his own special brand of romantic crooning.

No, the World is in safe hands for as long as our polticians are sensitive musical types and don’t the know it. If they have no particular skills, like French President Nicolas Sarkozy, then at least he had the sense to marry the gifted, er, musician and singer, the leggy and not too proud to show it, Carla Bruni.

“Yes” David Cameron might say, “Music is incredibly important – especially all that depressing Eighties stuff. It’s incredibly important to show people that you like music so I keep saying that I think bands like The Smiths, Radiohead and Blur are, well, incredible. Gary Barlow is incredible too of course. Pity I know nothing about it.”

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