Friends, Romans, Italian countrymen and women, lend me your ears. I come not to bury Berlusconi but to celebrate his parting. You, the citizens of my favourite country, allow me to celebrate with you now that your vile Prime Minister is finally leaving the stage. Allow me too, a word of friendly advice, don’t let him get away with things now that he is no longer prime minister. For too long he has survived as a discredit to your great nation – a corrupt degenerate and, if he wasn’t so damaging, a laughable even embarrasing figure in international diplomacy. You are well rid of him – auguri amici miei! Now put him on trial. I hope that you will be saved from his like in the future and, dare I say it, learn from your history. Silvio Berlusconi was, after-all, the longest serving Italian leader since Benito Mussolini. You deserve so much better. Oh yes, and good luck with the Euro – watch out for Merkel and Sarkozy! Et tu, Merkozy!