Hello Common Cold….fancy you turning up like this.


So I guess it had to happen….tomorrow night I am doing my first full poetry evening and this morning my old friend the common cold turned up. Thanks common cold.

They always go straight to my voice too, colds – funny that.

Should I try some old remedies, I wonder?

Apparently the sure cure is to get into a very hot bath filled with sliced onions and mustard…ouch.

Sweating it out is one of the old-fashioned ways of getting shot of it, I know but onions? I am not sure about that. Maybe a footbath would be enough like they have in Laurel and Hardy films. Why do I think Laurel and Hardy have footbaths am I feverish I wonder?

Maybe I should go to my gym and have a sauna? Nothing like a trip out in the rain, changing into nothing, having the sauna and maybe spending some time in the steam room before coming out again into the rain. Do you think it would work? Maybe not.

I could do one of those steam inhaler things, leaning over a bowl of steaming menthol with a towel over my head.

Or maybe, the best thing would be to listen to all those feed-a-cold gurus. I am definitely hungry but then again I always am. I feel a refrigerator raid coming on – well I am ill.

Some people say you should just go to bed with aspirin and plenty to drink.

I have decided…..go to bed in striped flannel pyjamas with plenty of food and drink….maybe a few aspirins too, if I have to, and an absorbing book to read or even the BBC’s wonderful Radio Four or maybe a Mahler of Bruckner symphony on my ipod and a teddy bear.

I am feeling better already at the thought of it. I won’t do it though – there is a puritan hiding inside me. It is something to do with Scottish blood – dammit.

Oh well, an aspirin and a glass of water it is then. Cheers!

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