Left-handedness is good for the World and for me.

I have had various instructions regarding this period before I have to go back into hospital.

If I had a pound for every time I have been told to be careful then I would be able to sort the credit crunch and have plenty left for a Chinese takeaway.

But I will listen to the instruction: take care!

Also, I guess as part of the same thing, if I am going out, I have to take a stick if there is any chance of me tripping up, slipping over or falling in any way.

I used a stout umbrella. My theory being that it was better to look like a metereological pessimist than an invalid.

So I have to be careful before taking any move that might result in my hitting my head.

I was also told that I was very fortunate that I am left-handed.

The brain haemorrhage was in the left temporal lobe which “normally” controls the use and meaning of words, speech and other things that I generally like to do. Abnormal people, us left-handers, have these functions in their right temporal lobes.

So phew! my left-handed neurologist agreed.

I forgot to ask what my left temporal lobe does but, by the look of it, not much obviously as I don’t seem to be that effected by the haemorrhage.

I have developed a slight stammer, or speech hesitation but I am not aware of any other differences.

I suspect that my right hand temporal lobe concentrates on all those things that I have either never been good at or that I decided long ago not to bother doing.

Like arithmatic, country dancing and motor mechanics, perhaps. Well the truth is it is movement that is handled by the opposite lobe. No surpirzes there for anyone who has seen me playing football or tennis.

So I am celebrating my left-handedness. It has saved me from turning into a vegetable and it has put me in that impressive 1 in 10 of the population who are often better at music, science, and other clever things like being a leader.

As a left-hander, I am more likely to be male than female, gay than lesbian, English than Japanese, and a chimpanzee rather than any other animal.

Also, it is a good qualification to becoming President of the United States.

Since 1974, only Jimmy Carter and George W. Bush have been normal and, incidentally, they have generally perceived to be failures.

Us left-handers are pretty cool….and no one is cooler these days than the most powerful left-hander in the world, President Barack Obama.

Question: Who is the cleverest? Right-handed? George W. Bush or left-handed Barack Obama?

Well it is obviously our new president.

That clumsy, much complained of, crab-style handwriting which all of us lefties were told off about at school, was seen yesterday signing another in the new president’s impressive list of executive orders.

We have already had the Guantanamo Bay plans, the appointment of intelligent and experienced envoys to start negotiations in trouble spots all over the world, and now we have a directive aimed at tackling global warming, helping the motor industry and weaning his country from its dangerous gasoline habit.

As his left hand crawled awkwardly across the paper, trying, I would imagine, not to blot the ink as it progressed, Obama was beginning a dramatic new era for the world.

“Year after year, decade after decade, we’ve chosen delay over decisive action, rigid idealogy has over-ruled sound science, special interests have over-shadowed common sense.”

He might just get this right. Restricting the gas guzzlers, investing in developing new fuel efficient vehicles, and reducing greenhouse gas emissions to an extent undreamed of in the Bush years.

Lets wish him luck. He is like me, after -all.

As a left-hander I can celebrate some success just as he can. He became president, I kept my understanding of words. Both of us left-handed success stories.

Maybe he should take that other piece of advice too.

I was told to take care especially if I was going anywhere where I could slip, trip or fall.

The impressive early decisions, Mr President, are brave, imaginative and controversial; just the areas where you too could slip, trip or fall.

Take care, for all our sakes.

2 Comments

  1. Sure you are a nice guy Carsten!

    You, me and President Obama – what a team. If only all the other left-handers were as nice.

    Pity that Obama bin Laden is left-handed too.

    I think that guy is the exception though, mostly I believe that lefties are not only nice but also cool, sexy and, well, let’s face it, pretty damned perfect.

    You take care too, Carsten.

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