I have never been bothered by those framed gold discs, not that I have ever won any, but I don’t see the point of hanging up other people’s achievements on my wall any more than I would walk around with some dead hero’s bravery medal on my chest. So I won’t be bidding for them even if it would help Elton’s mum if she got rid of them. Just imagine all the dusting! Come on Elton, what were you thinking when you gave your mum all your awards? The poor woman has become a slave to Mr Sheen polish.
There are two nice suits up for sale though and I am sorely tempted to own at least one of these. Presumably he left them in his wardrobe along with his broken skateboard. I just can’t make up my mind if the purple or the gold would suit me best. There is though, don’t you think, something slightly, er, unflattering about the shape. I assume they were tailor-made….poor Elton, he was never athletic.
Now these baseball caps should go well…..ideal for distinguished rock enthusiasts like our foreign secretary William Haig who does, let’s face it, have a touch of the Elton Johns about him. I think one of them would suit Mr David Cameron too and give him that ordinary ‘Just call me Dave” look that he wants so much. They might not be quite cool enough for Preisdent Obama though but they would look great on Vladimir Putin.
I can see why Elton’s mum is ditching all this stuff but I am worried about the rest. What has he done wrong if she is also chucking out his old autograph books, awww, come on Mum, you must have room for them somewhere.
And all those backstage passes, don’t you love him any more then? He always made sure you came to his gigs and never got embarrassed having mum turn up all the time. How can you get rid of them?
And have you checked through this mysterious box labelled “miscellaneous memorabilia”? Now, really, if you are not curious, then I am.
I hope Elton won’t be all upset when he comes home for Christmas and finds that you have got rid of his stuff and filled the house with a load of Kray Brothers letters. Now, come on Sheila, make it up with your naughty son, he loves you really. And what was the Kray Twin connection?