Only naked passengers can guarantee airline security.

There is a lot of fuss in the USA, I see,  about those new body scanning machines at airports – we haven’t introduced them yet in Britain. People are objecting that too many rude bits can be seen when you stand in one of those AIT machines which some security guards allegedly call The Dick-Measuring Device. Well, I suppose the man above hasn’t kept many secrets from the beady eyes of America’s Transport Security Administration (TSA).

It is all the fault of those would-be terrorists who stuck explosives down their underpants – so we can’t really blame the authorities for not being deligent with their searches. We need to decide how much we value our bodily privacy over the risks of being blown up when travelling by air.

In the States, you can opt for the alternative of a “pat down” which, to some, is even more physiclaly invasive when airport staff feel your inside leg meaurements until they meet, er, a “restriction” – by which they mean either a weapon or some testicles.

Well endowed women too have various options if they want to conceal weapons or explosives. the brutal reality is, of course, that would-be bombers don’t stop at hiding stuff in their clothes. God gave us all a number of natural hiding places which could conceal things from either those patting hands or the revealing scanning machines. So real security would only come if full body searches were conducted on every airport passenger.

If that were ever to happen then we might as well go the whole way and insist that all air travel has to be undertaken naked.

Only then would there be no hiding places.

 I suspect we would all get used to it but those crushes when everyone scrambles out of their seats on landing could be a little daunting I suspect……

…and checking in could take on a new look too……

…to say nothing about baggage reclaim.

Maybe travellers should be banned from taking any luggage at all – it would definitely be more secure that way.
Then we would all have to get used to seeing naked tourists everywhere. Maybe, in the end, everyone would just think, what the heck, let’s just get rid of clothes everywhere and then we can all be safe and secure all the time.


  1. Next time I am completely terrified by flying… I'll think of this and picture everyone naked. It might help, you never know.

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