Smiles or eggs? Which is the best way to defeat the Oppressors?


Perfectly good chicken’s eggs went to waste yesterday in London.

Some anti-Fascist protesters threw them at the two new British National Party MEPs (Members of the European Parliament) and sent them scurrying away from a planned press conference.

The eggs were wasted by being broken over two pretty despicable men whose election has shamed Britain and those who elected these believers in intolerance and racism. I would rather have had one of them boiled for breakfast – and I don’t mean the eggs.

Seriously, I don’t want to put Nick Griffin and Andrew Brons into boiling water for four minutes precisely any more than I wanted those protesters to join in an act of violence against them. An egg, a bomb, a missile – they all come from the same arsenal. An egg on your suit may just lead to a public humiliation and a dry cleaning bill but it also says I could have killed you. It is the unacceptable face of protest.

How much more impressive were those protesting women in Iran yesterday in their green scarves and make-up shouting slogans at a rally against the incumbent President Hahmoud Ahmadinejad. They are hoping to topple him democratically at the forth-coming elections. Somehow their joyful faces said so much about the old, tired and repressive regime that they despise. “Bye-bye Ahmadi” has a sense of fun which I suspect is way beyond the emotional range of their belligerant president.

Both sets of protesters succeeded in getting into the newspapers today but President Ahmadinejad was more under threat. When a country begins to put human values like liberty and fun ahead of repression then it is a difficult surge to stop – especially when smiles are contrasted to the dour hatred of their oppressors.

In contrast those two frightened men, shielded by their muscle-bound bodyguards, earned, I suspect, just a bit of sympathy from their deluded supporters.

Let us show those British Fascists that we, like the Iranian women in Tehran yesterday, value freedom of expression, toleration and non-violence. Just start throwing missiles and it won’t be long before they start getting thrown back.

And, talking of boiled eggs, hmmm, how do you like yours? For me it is four minutes in boiling water, bang the top of the shell the moment you take it out and eat with hot brown buttered toast. Let’s not waste eggs on Fascists. It would be far better to let them show their unpleasantness and hatred all on their own. Maybe it would be a better idea to invite those ill-advised BNP voters round for boiled eggs and a nice cup of tea.

That would show them what being British is really like.

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