So after fifty years resisting the idea, Britain has finally decided to change the way we vote for our government. No longer will it be about electing a governing party, left or right or something in the middle, now our elections are going the way of all flesh, literally.

Tonight in Britain we are going to be titillated by the three main political party leaders meeting for the first of three television debates. Appropriately enough, the first show will come from ITV’s legendary and historic TV studios at Granada Television in Manchester where I spent more than just my formative years.

Granada pioneered election programmes, popular current affairs programming and had an outstanding record for classy drama and, of course, the most famous and longest running of all British soap operas.It also produced Stars In Their Eyes, a popular show where ordinary people tried to imitate glitzy ones. Nowhere is more appropriate then for this much heralded revolution in British political life.

Sadly, the programme is up against a series about the Pineapple Dance Studios on Sky so no one knows if anyone will be watching out for our new Prime Ministerial X Factor show.

It may come as a surprize to know that in secret cosmetic surgery clinics in London’s prestigious back street private medicine district, our three potential prime ministers have undergone extensive plastic surgery to improve their chances of winning that vital TV vote.

Which one do you fancy?

Gordon Brown

David Cameron


Nick Clegg

What will they be saying? you ask…..oh, the usual tosh. Now don’t get boring on us, they are only there as eye candy.

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