Steamy Scenes under the Italian Sun

We have been fed the images, felt the heat and wished we were there – la bella Italia.

It is that time of year when I always think of Italy. Those long hot summer days on an Italian beach with a cornetto icecream, a pizza and a bottle of chianti. What could be nicer?

Those powerful world leaders whose countries qualify to be at the G8 conference in Italy today are in for a treat. I know they have got work to do. Chatting about the economy whilst they lie in the sun, my heart bleeds for them.

Unlike the G20 summit in London the other month, the leaders could have a lot more fun in Italy – if they know how to, that is.

I know Silvio Berlusconi is trying to be all serious today at the earthquake site at L’Aquila – not because he is sensitive to his countrymen’s sufferings or anything like that, he just wants some G8 money in there to help with the clean up. L’Aquila is, after-all, where Silvio told the survivors to see the disaster as an opportunity to have a holiday under canvas.

No camping out under the stars for the G8 leaders I guess – not many of them seem like the outdoor types but there is all the fun of the seaside at their disposal.

I could imagine Barack Obama pitching his tent as he seems to be keeping himself in trim but I hope that he knows what Silvio is cooking up for him.

Gordon Brown of Britain just never seems comfortable in the great outdoors – stripping off for him means taking off his tie. He may come back a changed man.

Nicholas Sarkozy of France needs no lessons from Signor Berlusconi, he is quite at home showing a bit of flesh to the sun and he doesn’t seem to mind taking his own shirt off either.

The most obviously practical person at the seaside summit is the formidable Angela Merkel of Germany. She could put up all their tents and zip them up in their sleeping bags with no trouble. Her problem always seems to be knowing how to have fun and, frighteningly, what is funny too.

I am not sure about Stephen Harper from Canada either. Who is he, you ask? Well he is the Prime Minister of Canada. Canada? Exactly! His idea of a good time seems to be, to say the very least, somewhat tame. I am told that some of his fellow countrymen find him a little, well yes, boring.

Nothing boring about Dmitri Medvedev of Russia, or so his friends say. He may be faceless enough to be a scout master but he loves to have fun with guns. We will have to see how well President Obama keeps his boys’ toys obsession under control.

Taro Aso from Japan knows how to have a good time too but he, rather like Frau Merkel sometimes has a bizarre way of showing it. Actually he can’t get anything right that’s why he is on his way out as the Japanese Prime Minister. Never pose with anyone who can make you look a prat.

Really, I am sure they are all hoping to get an invitation to Silvio Berlusconi’s steamy sex spot, his Villa Certosa on the Sardinian coast. Are they ready for it though and would Silvio dare to hire some of his now famous topless models to whip up the party spirit?

You only have to look at what our leaders do for fun to feel sorry for the models. I suspect they would have much more fun pushing a trolley round the supermarket.

Nicolas Sarkozy apart. Why do the French always know how to enjoy themselves? Well they have to get something right.

I wonder what Silvio Berlusconi really thinks about all these leaders pretending to work in the Italian sun. The same as he thinks about everyone else I assume. Ciao!

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