2) Wolfie Wolfgang was walking home along the Offham Road in Lewes this afternoon at 3.29 when a dustbin van stopped in front of him. It waited there until a white van drew up behind it. Wolfgang watched as the dustbin men went over to the van and the van driver gave them a number of bin bags full of rubbish that they then put into the dustbin van. Then they both drove off. Was this prearranged? He wondered and then he remembered that the Mafia in New York sometimes pretend to be rubbish collectors.

3) Wolfie Wolfgang was walking home at 3.34 this afternoon along the Offham Road in Lewes when he noticed a traffic jam. He wondered where everyone was going. They all looked fed up.

4) Wolfie Wolfgang was crossing the Offham Road in Lewes via a pedestrian crossing at 3.36 this afternoon when a small black car came towards him at a speed in excess of the speed limit. The driver, a woman in her forties, slammed on the breaks and stopped just in time. She smiled and mouthed the words: Sorry. He smiled back and carried on walking.

5) Wolfie Wolfgang was watching the traffic on the Offham Road in Lewes this evening at 8.26 when he thought he heard his wife’s car. At 8.27 pm., his wife drew up in front of the house. Was it her driving style or the sound of the engine that he recognised, he wondered?

The post More on Friday 27th June 2008 appeared first on Wolfie Wolfgang.

2) Colin Bell had an itch on the end of his nose today. He decided not to scratch it because he had been thinking about being strong willed. He succeeded in living through the irritation and felt better about himself afterwards.

3) Colin Bell has had tonsillitis this week and his wife made him promise not to go to his Kungfu class. He felt guilty because he never directly promised that he wouldn’t go and still hasn’t told her that he went and that he enjoyed it. He is worried that this news report might get back to her.

4) Colin Bell found out this week that the three telephones in his house could be linked together if he gave them a name each. He decided to call them 1, 2 and 3 but then thought he ought to have been a bit more imaginative.

5) Colin Bell dreamt this week that he was not allowed to go into the bathroom because the door would lock automatically and he would not be able to get out again. He tried it and it was true – he was locked in. He remembered this dream the next day and wondered, just for a moment, if the door would lock when he went in. It didn’t.

The post Friday 27th June 2008 appeared first on Wolfie Wolfgang.

2) A man was disappointed when he realized that some of the signs in Rottingdean are misleading. A newsagents’ shop with a notice outside saying: “Play Here!” does not mean that people can play there. It is a Lottery sign. The man also noticed that the sign reading “Lions’ Summer Fayre” is nothing to do with wild animals and that the shop called “Old Customs House” has nothing to do with old customs. Something should be done about this he told the news.

3) A man said to day that he thought living in a house where there are often traffic jams could be a security risk. If a potential burglar was stuck in traffic outside a house, then he could use the time working out how to break in. Something should be done about this, the man said.

4) Wolfie Wolfgang was about to eat his lunch today when he saw a fly land on his quiche. Even though he was very hungry, he decided not to eat it. He had a banana instead because its skin had protected it.

5) It was a lovely day today because the wind from the South West was cooling and yet warm. This is a typical characteristic of South Westerly winds according to meteorolists.

The post Friday 20th June 2008 appeared first on Wolfie Wolfgang.

Reports are coming in that the plate that local resident Wolfie Wolfgang uses to stand a houseplant on has finally broken. It had been cracked for years but now has broken into two halves. Wolfie is going to decide over the weekend whether to mend it or throw it away.

2)
Decision on broken plate imminent

Following reports that Lewes-based Wolfie Wolfgang’s plate has broken due to deep cracking, it has now been announced that Wolf has made his final decision about whether to throw it away or mend it. He wants to inform close family members before making any further statements.

3)
Offers Pour in for Broken Plate

Several people have put their names forward in the broken plate story that has hit the airwaves this week. News that local resident Wolfie Wolfgang has an old broken plate which he is thinking of throwing away has led to three or four people asking if they can re-house the plate and, if possible, glue it together again.

4)
Surprise Auction announced for broken plate

It has been announced that a surprise auction will be held in Brighton today for a broken plate that has caused some local interest amongst plate enthusiasts. A leading Brighton auctioneer says that at least three people have expressed an interest and that there will also be an anonymous telephone bid. The plate is in fact a white soup bowl, which has been cracked for years but which finally broke earlier this week.

5)
Broken Plate goes to the highest bidder.

A Brighton housewife and mother of three is the lucky winner in the so-called Broken Plate Auction held in Brighton yesterday. Mrs. Eleanor Williams spoke of her delight last night after putting in the winning bid for a broken white soup bowl which was put up for sale after its previous owner had decided to throw it away. The owner, father of two, Mr. Wolfgang from Lewes said that he was very pleased with the price. It is thought that the plate was sold for a sum in the region of three pounds. Mrs. Williams will get her husband to mend it and plans to use it as a feeding dish for her black and white cat, Nibbles.

The post Friday 13th June 2008 appeared first on Wolfie Wolfgang.

2) At 5.07 p.m this evening, Colin Bell had been held up in a traffic jam for two minutes on the B2123 between Falmer and Rottingdean. It was very pleasant because there was no traffic coming in the other direction. A motorbike accelerating at speed past the stationary traffic broke the peace. At first the noise was irritating but then Colin Bell thought that it would be very exciting going so fast over the Downs.

3) Colin Bell was stuck in a traffic jam on the B2123 between Falmer and Rottingdean at 5.12 p.m this evening. He noticed that his right arm was burning in the sun because he was resting it on the opened window. His other arm was cool from the breeze coming from the other window. Was it possible to be hot and cold at the same time? He thought.

4) At 5.19 p.m. this evening Colin Bell noticed an old lady standing at a bus stop as he drove along the B2123 between Falmer and Rottingdean. He wondered if she was enjoying the lovely evening but she looked bad tempered and tired. A few minutes later, he drove a young lad at the next bus stop. He was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses and was listening to his ipod. He looked like he was having fun. That old lady needs an ipod, he thought.

5) At 5.29 p.m this evening, Colin Bell drove into the village of Rottingdean along the B2123. After being stuck in a traffic jam on top of the Downs, the village seemed very busy. It even reminded him of downtown Manhattan. There was a lot of activity everywhere he looked except on the village pond that was empty except for one duck that looked rather lonely.

The post More on Friday 20th June 2008 appeared first on Wolfie Wolfgang.